An Invitation Is Not Enough:
Holding Out for the Right Recognition is Worth the Wait

As I explore the depths of experimenting with the deeper nuances of how my strategy feels and works for me, I have noticed how vitally important real recognition is to my well-being. 

Otherwise, the bitterness creeps up on me and hangs out and festers into resentment and I am not even aware of it until much much later when the damage has already been done and my self-esteem has suffered for the compromise.

Selling out is easy for a Projector who hasn’t healed and come into their true self through the deconditioning process of living your life according to your strategy of waiting for recognition; especially if you have been starved for the recognition of being seen and invited to be in a relationship or to participate in all the fun things in life that come so easily for Generators. 

I have sold out due to loneliness and being driven by my conscious Sun and Earth with the Channel of Community to want to connect and find my tribe. But those things cannot be manufactured, forced or rushed. I have been learning just how valuable the art of waiting really is for me. It is a superpower and my security system for being selective about the company I keep and what and who I invest my time, talent, and energy into.

I was introduced to Human Design later in life. I could look back and feel remorse that I didn’t get to benefit from this empowering science earlier in life, but that is a past I have no control over. 


I am a predominantly logical and tribal being, so dwelling on the past is just not my jam. I find figuring out how to improve for the future to be far more empowering for me. So, I embrace the wisdom and depth of Human Design now and learn how to heal and decondition by honoring my experiment and paying attention to my strategy as best I can. That has been easier said than done.


I’ve become intimately acquainted with how crucial the right recognition is to how a Projector functions fundamentally. I’ve realized that an invitation is not enough. There are invitations that are correct for me and there are those that are not. 

An invitation can leave me feeling bitter if it is not preceded by true recognition of who and what I am. It is like air that we breathe, or to mix metaphors, recognition is the light switch that turns us on so we can operate and be our brilliant selves. 

Without recognition, I feel lost, lonely, and out of sorts, like there is something missing or even wrong with me. 

I’ve noticed the quality of what I do while I am waiting for the right recognition makes all the difference in whether or not waiting is a deeply satisfying soulful experience or absolutely torture. 

When I am absorbed in things that I enjoy doing or am curious about and take the time to study and master them, then the waiting has great value, otherwise, it can feel like I am shipwrecked on a remote island all alone.

It has taken years of studying Human Design with Laveena to have some of these basic tenets sink in on a visceral level for me. I’ll thank my super wide split for that. One of which is how essential it is to be selective about the company I keep and the relationship I have because I have experienced how deeply they influence and impact on how I perceive and feel about myself.

I didn’t really get it when I would hear or read that we Projectors are not self-aware and need others to understand ourselves better. I thought I was pretty self-aware.

Human Design is not a superficial science. It is a deep and rich rabbit hole that never ends. Now, I understand what it means on a deeply personal level. 

I have experienced what I feel like when I am with one person versus another. I have developed the sensitivity to recognize from a more objective observation whether or not another person is interested or recognizes me. I was so oblivious and now I am so aware. 

Recognizing if there is recognition is such an invaluable gift to use as my own personal compass in relationships. It helps me discern which people to engage with and which ones to just leave alone and not waste my precious energy and time on trying to win over or get their attention.

As much as I don’t like to admit it, we Projectors are so very vulnerable. I am learning how very, very important it is to surround myself with raving fans who love and adore me. I am so sensitive to the effect others have on me. 


I have learned from compromising myself that when there isn’t true recognition in a relationship for me it has a damaging effect on me where bitterness settles and wreaks havoc to my self-esteem. 


My open spleen has been a great teacher for me to let go sooner, learn from it and move on wiser for that experience. 


It is out of integrity, a sell out, to tolerate being in relationships with people who don’t see me, get me, want me, appreciate me, who I am, and what I have to offer. It has been so deeply painful and cost me too much to enter into and hang onto relationships where I am not recognized, loved and accepted for who I am. I’ve felt needy and like there was something wrong with me. Ick! No thank you. Who wants that?


Relationships and recognition are the dynamic duo for us Projectors or they can be a slow and painful death to our souls. We Projectors are vulnerable to compromising out of FOMO – “fear of missing out” or being left out or left behind. I am realizing in my own experiment that being discriminating and selective about the company I keep and the relationships I choose to invest in is so essential to my emotional, mental, and physical well-being. I was so unconscious of that for so many years. It seemed so subtle but now it seems so painfully obvious. So many years wasted suffering and struggling and feeling so bitter and frustrated.


I have been experimenting with how I feel in some relationships compared to others. Recently that has led to an epiphany for me. I really get the fine distinction of recognition in relationships on a deeply emotional level now. 


It feels quite different to be around someone who is just neutral or that I have become aware of doesn’t seem to even like me or get me. They are just putting up with me versus someone who hangs on my every word or extends invitations and acknowledgements that feel so yummy, delicious and affirming, like a hug from someone who really, really loves me.

I wonder what the experience of recognition is like for other Projectors who are emotionally defined and who are not and have different authorities than mine. 

Do you feel it in your body or emotionally? 

What does real deep-to-the-heart-of-you recognition feel like for you?

For me, recognition feels like a wave of love washing over me, saturating me with validation and appreciation.  It is easy and effortless. I can let my guard down and just be me without feeling like I have to protect myself from someone else’s judgments or expectations. There is a deep and satisfying rapport that is so affirming that I could bask in the glow of it forever. That is the key for me to have successful relationships. Surround myself only with raving fans who I feel that way around and not settle for anything less than that. Because to settle is to compromise and that only leads to bitterness and unhappiness.

Recognition feels like a breath of fresh air after holding my breath for a very long time while waiting. Recognition is validation that someone does see me and wants me. It is difficult to even find the right words to convey what the right kind of deep and satisfying recognition feels like other than to say, validation. Which is what Human Design has done for me and so many people I have shared it with. It is a validation of who we each are that gives us permission and a sigh of relief that I am okay just the way I am. I am designed to be that way. 

Human Design is like receiving an owners manual on how you are designed to operate and live your life. When people really get that, the self-judgment starts to melt away and then they can actually experiment with their strategy and have some fun with it.

Ra said that for most of us, it takes 7 years to decondition, IF we commit to our experiment and follow our strategy and authority. For me, it is taking longer because I didn’t full grasp what fully committing to my experiment meant. Human Design came and went over many years for me until I finally got it that Human Design was something to take seriously and invest some time and energy into learning more about it.

I wish there was a way for us to communicate just how important experimenting with our strategy and authority is to our clients, family and friends, and new students to Human Design, so they get how much it could transform their lives to make them better and easier.

It just took longer for me to really get that and the benefits of it. It is the key, for us Projectors, that relieves us of so much bitterness and resentment that arises out of not feeling okay being who they are. 

It is like magic how it works when you really take it on and work through your own personal experiment of diving deeper into the experience and benefits of living a life guided by strategy and authority. It is so deeply healing, rewarding and affirming. It eliminates insecurity and self-doubt about who you are and how you are. Your design is your roadmap and your strategy is your compass. I think it is even more crucial for us Projectors because we are designed to be conditioned. We need to use our strategy and authority not only to survive but to thrive and succeed.

I have come to appreciate through a very long assimilation process to get to the deeper layers of just how vitally important recognition is and what it feels like for me. An invitation is not enough. Recognition paves the way for the right invitations, the really good ones. Our energy is way too precious to be wasted on anything less.

My experience as a Projector is that it is so important to be selective and step back and watch and notice how your authority supports your strategy in helping you live correctly so that you are indeed successful. 

For me, success starts with relationships, the right kinds of relationships, relationships with raving fans only. It is like only working with your ideal client. Once you have that experience, you don’t want to work with anyone else. 

I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone who isn’t a raving fan. It just doesn’t feel good. I don’t feel good about myself in those other kinds of relationships. And, as the late great Wayne Dyer used to say, “I want to feel good.”

I hope this has inspired other Projectors or at the very least articulated something you could relate to. I would love to hear from other Projectors what recognition feels like for you and how it affects your relationships and how you live your life.

An invitation is not enough. I am finding that the right recognitions make the wait worth it because they validate and empower me and reflect back to me who I am and what invitations are worthy of my time, energy, and attention.The alternative has become unbearable for me at this stage in my life. 

So, right now, I am experimenting with mastering the art of waiting to develop it into a superpower. There is so much power in waiting. Waiting gives me time to learn, study what I am interested in, and practice my craft to master it, and just enjoy being me. How about you?

Are you curious about what your unique Human Design is? Want to find out? Please contact me at to schedule a consultation or call 858-888-6763.